How to Let a Vendor Down Easy
What's the best way to turn down vendors?
I mean I've done it a few times now but I just feel so bad every time I have to tell somebody that we chose another company over them. It gives me anxiety like no other.
22 Comments
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Source: https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/whats-the-best-way-to-turn-down-vendors/2248d928f8a2efea.html
Expert July 2018
Katie ·
Just remind yourself that they're used to hearing this. Just thank them for their time and tell them you went with someone else. I wouldn't sweat about it.
Master April 2017
EM ·
Honestly, I get where you're coming from, but I promise, vendors really don't care and they won't be heartbroken that you aren't moving forward with them. They are used to hearing it!
I just went with a simple: "Thanks so much for your time and the information that you've provided but we decided to go in another direction"
Devoted October 2018
Nikki ·
I know logically it's just business but I feel like I've wasted all their time and effort now. Anyway thank you guys for trying to put me at ease.
Expert October 2018
Deryn ·
"We appreciate you taking the time to meet with us, but we've decided to go with another vendor. Thank you." None of the vendors were at all disrespectful, and wished us the best of luck as we continue with our planning.
VIP May 2019
You simply say you choose another vendor and thank them for their time. Everyone can't pick them so you won't be the first. Some don't follow up if you don't contact them so don't worry about having to tell every prospective vendor you didn't choose them. I think they will figure it out
Master June 2018
KarenO ·
I had one that was very persistent too, and it made me glad that I didn't hire him. No matter how nicely I put it, he kept asking for more reasons and specifics.
But, rejection is part of their jobs, so I tried to not feel too bad about it overall. And, some who ask for reasons are maybe just trying to learn how they can be better for future clients.
VIP March 2018
View Quoted Comment
Very true! If I had some legitimate concern, or the price was too high. or they just didn't provide something someone else did, then I told them about that - hoping they could use that info for future clients.
But I had a couple who would just not stop hounding us or trying to negotiate with us. Those were the ones I eventually just stopped responding to.
Master July 2018
Mcskipper ·
One thing that made me feel good (if I felt it to be true) was letting some people know I would gladly recommend them to any friends looking. I wouldn't say that to just anyone, but for example, a caterer that had gone out of her way to do a tasting for us. I thought she was great and told her as much in my 'rejection letter' and she was equally kind in her response and went so far as to offer assistance if we had any other questions along the way (Which meant a lot to me as someone who was also not wanting to reject anyone)
Master June 2018
Maria ·
Hi Vendor's name,
My fiancé and I have decided to go in a different direction. Thank you so much for your time.
Best,
Your name.
ETA: They prefer you let them know as opposed to ghosting. Which has been challenging for me just because I don't want to say no to anyone until I've signed another contract. So that limbo has sometimes taken a bit.
Expert October 2015
Just be honest. Say you decided to go with someone else. Isn't that the case? I haaaaate when people say "decided to go in a different direction." That means nothing. If you're going to give a reason (like "different direction"), give a real reason... "we found someone more within our budget", "we found someone else whose photography is more the style we're looking for", etc.
Master August 2017
View Quoted Comment
I work as a corporate event planner and vendors know exactly what "another direction" means. They hear it all the time and don't need to be stroked. Really, all they want to know is did they get the job or not. It's not dishonest to say "another direction" because that's what you are doing. If you give an actual reason, the vendor may see that as an opening to try and snag you back.
For OP, take comfort in knowing vendors hear this all the time. If you need to, write down your response when you call to feel more comfortable or send an email if that is how you corresponded with the vendor. I agree with a PP who said it's better to let the vendor know ASAP then ghost out. You never know when you might want to use that vendor in the future for something else.
Master June 2018
Maria ·
View Quoted Comment
That's a strange thing to really haaaate. It's business language. They know what it means.
Devoted October 2018
Nikki ·
This is all really solid advice and I appreciate it so much. I agree with Maria about the limbo thing because there's been some I have been corresponding with longer but recently decided on a new vendor we found recently. So now I have to tell this person who we've been in regular contact with that we are choosing the other person. I feel like I've dragged them along which was not my intention.
Expert October 2015
View Quoted Comment
I'm a photographer. It actually is frustrating to me that after spending time talking with someone who seems interested, that person just can't give a more transparent reason. For some people, it actually does help to know the reason. There is absolutely no reason for a vendor to be mad at customers for choosing someone else, so it's just nice to have more open/honest communication.
Expert October 2015
View Quoted Comment
Clear communication is really important to me, so because that's not as clear as it very easily could be, thats why I hate it. I'm a business owner, I know "different direction" simply means "we chose someone else". It's just a personal annoyance that people aren't more clear. Like I said in another response, it actually can be helpful for business owners to know the reason behind clients choosing someone else. Vendors should not continue to bug customers after being told the reason, but it can be helpful for improving business.
Master August 2017
View Quoted Comment
Fair enough. Thank you for responding as it's always helpful to hear another point of view, particularly from a vendor.
Expert October 2015
View Quoted Comment
Ditto!
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Master June 2018
Maria ·
View Quoted Comment
Cool. Sounds like some people do so at a certain point I'm sure you'll see some consistent feedback. I personally would rather keep my reasons to myself especially when it can be so subjective. I'm not going to tell someone we just liked someone's personality better or the style of pictures appeals more to us. But I can see how some concrete feedback works to. "Other direction" is just a professional no thanks.
Devoted September 2019
Rachael ·
I am having the same problem. I feel bad telling them I went with someone else. I just remind my self it's our special day. We can pick what we want and that vendor will get hired by someone else especially for summer weddings.
Kristin ·
I try to only give a reason if they ask for one. The last guy made me feel super awkward though. He wanted to know who I booked and why and got defensive when I told him why. I was so glad I booked the other guy.